I'm baaaaaack

I've been out of touch lately as I worked more on....work. But that is all over with now. :) I'm going to get back in touch and try to keep up with my bloggie. Did anyone miss me?

No Sleep

Well after several weeks of the schedule working perfectly we are havig a meltdown. Nothing has made him feel better and it doesn't matter if I'm holding him or laying him down so for right now he's getting to stay down while screaming ::sigh:: I just wish I knew how to make it better. He'll fall asleep for half an hour or an hour and then wake up screaming like someone is beating him... I would fix it if I could but I don't think he believes me. He just thinks mommy isn't making it better and life is horrible. Well I don't think I can listen to him cry like that by himself anymore, I guess I'll go hold him and let him cry. I tell myself that even if he's crying he'd rather cry with me there. Crazy, huh?

How cute is this?

I'm sure all mommies think their baby is the cutest baby in thw world and I"m no exception :) He has started 'talking' pretty regularly and it is just so darn cute. I swear he's saying good (which he hears a lot). I'll ask him something and he'll say gooo-oo with the last 00 sound a little like a 'd'. I am endlessly amused by his conversations I swear he knows what I'm saying and he's started using different little noises to mean different things. For example; he'll say whaaa-whaaa-whaaaaaaaa in this little pitiful tone when he just wants to be held. A totally different ear piercing scream when he wakes up afraid. A little whwhwh when he wakes up and is thinking about going to sleep. So darn cute. Then there are the smiles :) :) :) I'll say smile for mommy and he gets the biggest grin on his face. OMG I swear if he smiles like that when he's older he's going to get anything he wants.
And finally, he is doing this little lip sucking thing where he sucks in his entire top lip or half top half bottom and occasionaly bottom lip and he just looks so proud of himself. It's almost like Hey! I grabbed something! Yay, me!

Sick Daddy

So...Friday before last (2/29) my husband didn't go to work because he wasn't feeling very well...by Saturday he had almost 103 temp. Great. So I locked him in our bedroom and refused to let him out or anywhere near the baby. Everytime I came out of the room (was taking him food/water/movies/whatever else he wanted) I Purelled my hands..changed my shirt if it touched him ect all in an effort to keep the baby safe from the germs...Is that overkill? Anyways took hubby and the baby to the doc that Monday (hubby b/c he was still spiking a fever even w/meds baby b/c he'd started to have a fever) and hubby got on antibiotics.
Oh and I got my dad to watch the baby and took hubby in the vehicle that the baby never rides in so the germs wouldn't be there when I took the baby to the doc in the afternoon...I ever mention I worry? :)
Pediatrician said that he thought the baby had a little virus and not whatever my husband had which was great and that the baby wasn't dehydrated which is the main reason they hospitalize sick babies. So all good news on the baby front. I asked the doc if I was being nuts by bringing him in and he said I did the right thing ( i love my pediatrician) :) Also told me if the baby got a fever over 100.3/4 to bring him in or take him to the ER and to not give him tylonal so that we could tell if he was getting better or worse..and I was going to give it to him.
So, thankfully they are both feeling much better. Or rather the baby isn't sick anymore and hubby is mostly better ;)
Hubby was away from the baby for a week and when the doc gave the all clear to be around him again it was just the sweetest thing. He went on about how much Xan had grown (and technically that was true b/c at the doctors office he had gained 6oz) and how much he missed Xan. I swear having a baby is the best way to fall in love with your husband all over again <3

Baby potty

Is it just me or do all babies prefer to poop only once they've been picked up? I swear for the last few days he only poops if I'm holding him. Part of me wants to believe he's potty training himself and he'll be out of diapers faster than any baby ever...just have to wait for him to be able to sit up/walk to the potty, and that I"m his training potty. haha Well I have to tell myself something and that is preferable to mommy looks like a toilet ():o)

OH Baby the Irony

Hehe I posted that schedule last night and for the first time in almost 2 weeks he refused to go to sleep on time. That's what I get for bragging hehe. That's what's happened with everything I've posted as working...the swing, pacifier, swaddling. It's like he knows. But he was mostly back on it today although he doesn't seem to like the 7:30 nap so I might have to get rid of that. Anyone else out there put their baby on a schedule? If so what does it look like?

Baby schedule

As promised here it is :) Now if you don't believe in having a baby on a schedule that is fine with me but it is working great for us. He's getting enough rest and is a happy baby :) and yes if he gets hungry or wet before it's time to get up I feed/change him...I'm not heartless! It is crazy though that when I have him 'scheduled' for a changing is usually when he needs it.




7:00 – 7:15 Wakeup and feeding
7:15-7:20 Diaper change
7:20-7:35 Feeding
7:35-8:00 Cuddle time
8:00-8:30 Tummy/book
8:30-10:00 Nap
10:00 – 10:15 Wakeup and feeding
10:15-10:20 Diaper change
10:20-10:35 Feeding
10:35-11:00 Cuddle time
11:00-11:30 Swing
11:30-12:00 Tummy/book
12:00-2:00 Nap
2:00 – 2:15 Wakeup and feeding
2:15-2:20 Diaper change
2:20-2:35 Feeding
2:35-3:00 Cuddle time
3:00-3:30 Playpen/walk/tummy
3:30-3:45 Swing
3:45-4:00 Book
4:00-6:00 Nap
6:00 – 6:15 Wakeup and feeding
6:15-6:20 Diaper change
6:20-6:35 Feeding
6:35-7:00 Cuddle time with Daddy
7:00-7:30 Swing

7:30-9:00 Nap
9:00 – 9:15 Wakeup and feeding
9:15-9:20 Diaper change
9:20-9:35 Feeding
9:35-10:00 Bath/cuddle
10:00 – 10:30 Cuddle/swing
10:30-10:45 Snack
10:45-11:00 Book/song
11:00-7:00 sleep

Well baby check up at 2 months

He had his checkup February 25th and he was 13.2lbs and 24in ( I think it's written down somewhere I'll let you know if I'm wrong). Big boy. Doc said everything is going great he's in the 98th percentile for height and 80th for weight. Tall and skinny just like his daddy :) Doc asked how he'd been sleeping HAHAHAHAHAH and I told him he'd stay up for 12+ hours at a time but that sometimes he'd sleep for 8hrs. .. and do you know what the doctor said? He said it was perfectly fine to put him on a schedule and I said..."but what if he cries?" and the doctor says "let him cry" and I said "but I thought if babies cried it was because they needed something" and he said "sometimes but that is only for the first few weeks after that they learn crying means you'll pick them up and if he can sleep for 8 hours you can put him to bed at a regular time" He also said that he only said Xan could go on a schedule b/c he is growing so well and that I didn't have to put him on a schedule but that it wouldn't hurt him and would be better for ME in the long run which would be better for him soooooo. I decided to make a schedule for him (which I'll post later) but then came the bad news.
VACCINES!

I didn't know he was getting those but he needed 5 shots and some stuff by mouth...he liked the stuff he ate b/c it was sweetened but those shots about killed us :( I was in tears and he was screaming and being all pittiful..I could tell he was saying mommy make it stop :( ;:sigh:: So the nurse said he might run a fever and he did....he got all snuggly and wanted to be held so no schedule till he was feeling better...started it Tuesday night at bedtime :) More on that when I post the schedule.

Shots bad. Baby good. Schedule good.

Binky update

Well wouldn't you know it...I gave it to him and after it working for a few days he started spitting it out at me. He'd give me this disgusted little look like, I've got you figured out. and poof it was out. Not he just let it drop either but he used his tounge to pop that bad boy out. Pretty funny. The doctor said some babies figure it out and won't use it...more on what the doctor said in the next post.

I gave in to the binky monster

Well I'd said I wasn't going to give my son a pacifier...and I didn't for two whole months. But after WEEKS of him not being able to go to sleep for 12+ hours at a time I finally gave in and researched it to see if there were any good reasons not to use it. AND there are...they can become dependent on them...it can cause nipple confusion if given at first...but other than that not too many good reasons not to.
And the Mayo clinic says that they might cause a reduced risk of SIDS...always a good thing.
So I gave in. and he was asleep in under 5 min and slept for 3 hours...I took it out of his mouth after he fell asleep b/c I don't want him dependent on it for sleeping or anything...but I've used the same trick 3 more times and it has worked each time with him sleeping for at least 3 hours each time....so... I am now going to use it when he has trouble sleeping.
I guess I decided that no matter how much I don't like them him being able to sleep and feel better was more important. But I still feel guilty and, of course, worried that I didn't do the wrong thing. The nice thing about knowing myself the way I do is that I know that I'd worry I did the wrong thing if I didn't give it to him too so that worry isn't going to stop me.
Time for me to go take away the pacifier :)

Sleepless

Wow the last two nights have been looong! Night before last I didn't get him to sleep till after 5am and last night/ this morning I gave up at about 6:30am and woke my husband up because I was exhausted (two hours of sleep will do that to you). The baby finally went to sleep for him about 10am. Did I mention that when I woke him up I was crying, balling really, because I felt like a total failure as a mother because nothing I was doing was making my little angel happy.
I realize now that it was the sleep deprivation talking but at the time it just felt like I was failing at life. So....he was up for 13 hours with only two 30min sleep breaks. Is that normal? I thought babies slept for 12-18 hours not were up for 12 hours at a time? He's not sick that we can tell and seems to feel all right, only cries if I put him down... He has his two month checkup next week so I'm going to ask the doctor. He hasn't really slept that much today 10-2.... then 3;30-6;30 then he took a little nap around 7 and woke up at about 8:15...got him back to sleep a little before 10 and he's waking up again....sigh. I know he is miserable too I can tell he wants to sleep but just can't get it. Yesterday during the day after his little 10 hours of wakie time he slept for 7 hours and acted like he felt much better...till he woke up at 10;30 and stayed awake for 12 hours...ok I'm rambling but if anyone knows anything about what keeps babies up for such long stretches I'd love to hear about it.
Oh and I've tried swaddling which works sometimes and shhhing noises and a sound machine and a swinging chair all of which work great except when he's in marathon wakie time. Sweet dreams all.

Sleep and pumping!

I think I've become a bit obsessed with sleep lately. For about a week I was getting about three hours of sleep for every twelve or so that I was up with him. He would sleep a little in those twelve hours or so, for about thirty minutes. I was beginning to think I wouldn't make it!
But today he's been sleeping beautifully. He slept from midnightish to almost 6am then back to sleep around 8 and up at 1pm. Back to sleep around 3 and still sleeping..I'm expecting him to wake up any minute now. Hubby thinks he hasn't been feeling well and is now feeling better. I thought maybe he was teething but he is only 7 weeks old *tomorrow*. At any rate that is the sleep part of the post.
Pumping. Have I mentioned that I am breastfeeding exclusively? Oh and that I love it and that every bad thing I've read about it didn't happen for me? Yay! It was easy and mostly painless from the start and he had gained apx 2 oz per day as of his last checkup which the doc said was wonderful as 1oz per is considered good. Back to pumping. So I bought a pump in case I needed or wanted to go out so the hubster could stay home with the little guy and him not starve to death *baby not daddy*. I kept meaning to pump and freeze but dang is it hard to find time to pump when the baby always wants to eat or is eating all the time or wants you to hold him when he isn't eating...and then if none of that is going on I was wanting to sleep. BUT yesterday I had a doctors appointment so I had to pump for the lil guy because I didn't know how long I'd be gone. Was about the fourth time I'd tried and it went pretty well. The funny thing is when hubby went to feed him, I expressed about 3oz, he sucked it all down in around 2 minutes! I'd put the slower flow nipple with the bottle but apparently he's so used to having to really work for it he didn't know what to do with the easy delivery system. teehe. I don't know why but that kinda cracked me up.
So tonight I pumped before my tutoring session in case he woke up while I was working (I tutor online). This brings me to the reason I started the post about pumping. It only took me about 20min tonight to get more than I've been getting in half an hour to an hour so I guess pumping does get easier! I was a little worried but now I have my first bottle to freeze because he didn't wake up during class! Yay me, I am officially ahead of the game! SWEET!
Oh and for anyone reading this that wants to tell me breastfeeding isn't easy for everyone, I know :) I just think it is great/cool that it is easy for me and I'm crossing my fingers that it remains that way and is this easy for the next (we've decided we want at least one more little angel) one.
Goodnight all :)

Wow where did January go?

I blinked and January was gone :) I know you missed me but I'm back now and I'll try to get back to writing daily or close to it. It is crazy how I'm busier as a stay at home mommy than I was when I was working multiple jobs.
I look at my little angel and can't believe how huge he is! He's only six weeks old but I feel like he's all grown up! I'm going to be impossible when he really does grow up. Right now he's all snuggly and I know it is just going to break my heart when he gets too old for it.

I wonder if all first time moms resist taking their baby out of the house? So far I've only left to do errands when his dad or grandpa are over to watch him because I don't want to take him into the grocery store or the post office or wherever. He's only been to the doctors office so far....overprotective much? :) I know I have to take him out its just I think of all the things that can go wrong and I decide I don't really need the milk/mail/whatever until someone is home to babysit. I mentioned before that I worry about everything, right? :)

Sleep for Mommy :)

Woohooo! I have discovered the way to calm him down when he's tired but frantically trying to not fall asleep. Last night after several hours of him not going to sleep again I started thinking swaddling is supposed to work, why isn't it working? It wasn't working because he is a little escape artist and gets his hands out in about two minutes flat. So midscream I pinned his arms to the side of his body and he was asleep almost instantly. It was amazing. Seriously, miracle type amazing. We're talking full on scream to sound asleep in under a minute. Possibly the most beautiful thing ever! With him asleep I swaddled him and as he was sleeping calmly he didn't thrash loose and he slept from 12-3:30 then he went back to sleep around 4:30 and slept till almost 9. I couldn't believe it!
I know I titled the post sleep for mommy but I'm honestly more happy that the little man got some sleep. He gets so miserable when he can't go to sleep it just kills me. I don't even want to think how horrible it'll be when it is something bigger/worse that I can't fix. I wonder how much it'll cost to keep him in a bubble forever :)

Sleep

So Xan finally fell asleep last night/this morning at 7 a.m. After being awake for almost 9 hours. I thought babies slept all the time...at least off and on.. but not him! This is the second time he's done a long stretch of nothing will make me go to sleep. Last time was for about 7 hours. I feel so bad for him because I think he's sleepy but he just fights it. His little eyes start getting droopy then droopier then closed and then....wha wha whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Finally after marathon nursing he fell asleep, or I guess it could've just been a coincidence and he fell asleep from exhaustion. I tried looking up information about why babies won't sleep and couldn't find anything about newborns. Apparently colic doesn't kick in till month three and most babies just have trouble falling asleep in certain situations. We tried all situations and nothing worked. For those who are wondering... we tried: swaddeling...swaddeling with a different blanket..changing his clothes, taking off his clothes, rocking, bouncing, walking, singing, cuddling, letting him cry, and nursing off and on for all those nine hours. He's been sleeping like a champ now with only about an hour interruption for feeding and changing for....9 hours so I guess we'll see how he does tonight. Suppose it's possible this is just his schedule? Sleep 12 up 9? That ought to be interesting :)

I am prepared for another sleepless night though. I have my little baby backpack thing that you wear in front so he and I will clean the house (no harsh chemicals don't worry) and maybe finally take down the Christmas tree :)

Little Things From Today

I had thought I'd start with a little history first, well a lot of history...nine months or so. BUT. I'm too tired to do that so I thought I'd just fill everyone in on today. The little man hasn't slept more than thirty minutes all afternoon/tonight...this is unusual in that he usually sleeps like a champ for 3-5 hours. I'm a little worried (shocked aren't you?) but hopefully he'll go to sleep here in a little while. My sweet husband has been rocking him for the past half hour.
We clipped his fingernails for the first time today and nicked his little fingers :( I can't believe how much it hurts to make your baby cry! We tried to be all stealthy and the hubby was gonna clip while I nursed him so his little hands would be nice and still...yeah that didn't go as planned. We won't be doing that ever again, I don't think his daddy and I could handle it. Xan is fine though :) After a brief crying session he doesn't even seem to notice, of course hubby and I are wondering if that's why he isn't sleeping...but I don't really think that could be it.
Bout an hour ago we changed his diaper his shirt and his swaddling blanket just in case any of those were irritating him, we'll see.... Also, been eating like a little piggy all day, maybe this is just a growth spurt! Alrighty, I'll see what I can do about some pregnancy info tomorrow when he's *hopefully* asleep.

Things I Worry About

I guess before I start any specific mommy posts I should admit that I worry. I worry alot. I worry about everything, things I can and can't control. Before I got pregnant I worried about if I'd be able to get pregnant because I'd been on the pill for almost ten years. Then I worried that I would get pregnant and would lose the baby or that I'd somehow hurt the baby by falling or driving or eating the wrong thing. Then I worried once I did get pregnant some more about those same things :) I worried about the csection and if it would hurt or if I'd die or if it was bad for the baby. I worried that I'd go into labor and not be able to have a csection, more on that later. I worried about breastfeeding and if I wanted to do it, then if I'd be able to do it, then if it would be horrible. So what I'm saying is that I worry :) I'll probably have numerous posts about new things I worry about and I don't want anyone telling me not to worry! It is what I do. It helps me prepare and feel in control once I've prepared *yes, I know this is an allusion, but it makes me feel better so let me keep it*.
I've had friends and family tell me that I can't control/change anything by worrying so don't feel the need to chime in and agree with them :) I'm telling you all of this now so that you'll know I know it doesn't really do any good and you can go on and enjoy the rest of the posts! Time to go feed the little piglet some more ;) Hope everyone has a great morning.

My First Post

Hello everyone! This is my first blog post on my first blog, I'm very excited! This blog is going to be devoted to my experiences as a mommy, something I wasn't sure I ever wanted to be :) Oddly enough it turns out that I love it and that I've loved everything about it. I'll be putting up posts about my pregnancy, csection, breast feeding, and my decision to stay at home instead of returning to work. Feel free to chime in with advice at any time, my son is only three weeks old and I can use all the advice I can get!